Merry X'mas and a Happy New Year!

49 more days to go!

passion dead
performance drop
the only solution is to go

why am i so sway
one after another
keep trying not to get scolding by her
in the end the more mistakes i made
first it was the bus
then it came the photographs
next was the mixture of the teams
and it went so screwed up
followed by losing a client
caused i didn't follow up

there's always plenty of excuse to deceive myself
however that's not reality
so what happens in the end
she has doubt in my ability and quality of work
i had doubt with my own quality check of work
had i been damn lazy to work and just shelf everything or sweep everything under the floor
i would still say i love the nature of my job
but thinking of handling so many things is where things go wrong
however my job requires to handle many accounts so there's nothing or anyone i can ask for help

let's see: i managed to clear 4 events last week and 1 just yesterday... they may be small but there are always details to look at...

next I have 3 teambuildings and 2 dinner and dance... and also pitching for a dinner and dance.... next got to go for meeting for my colleague's event, a meeting with another client to brief me on the details of another event im going to pitch for... so that's somehow i lost to follow up with that particular client... ya... it's still my fault and im not blaming on anyone or pushing it to anything else...

now im questioning myself at:

1. do i really have to spend all my 24 hours just to work? is events really work till you die and don't get rest? are other events company like that?

2. is this what i really want? a life who works and nothing else.... plainly no life i would call that...

3. had i not done enough? is my workload really lighten

or should i really get a long break to think thru? or rest more so that i can really handle thousand and one things at a time....