i don't wanna hear about how good your life is
so what you have a nice and understanding girlfriend
it's been so many donkey years ago...
yes... i was once truely madly deeply in love with you
i wish you happiness always
but now... doesn't matter anymore...
i just wanna know how good my life goes.... and no longer yours
i don't wish to bump into you and these years we have never bump into each other
we have no fate... yes i agree...
letting us to know each other was a joke made by HIM
from now on, God please leave me alone. Don't let me fall back again.
you know, it took me about 4 years to let go... that's already a torture, that's enough...
at the rate you are doing these to me, i losing fate of love...
im scared of falling in love.... im scared of everything now...

im a weakling...
been sick like the 4th time in the 2 months
have been getting headaches, muscle aches
what have happen to my immune system?
is it failing soon?
sighs....

the revenge

i booked my flight to haiyat on mon
i even wrote my leave form to apply for 2 days leave
i even planned how much should i spend next month so that i will be able to spend like madness for my january trip

just when i was about to submit my leave form
my mobile rang... it was my mum...
she asked me if i really wanna go for the trip (fyi, it's just me, my cousin and my sis)
i told yeah... of coz... I WANNA GO!
that's where the conversation ended...

less than 5 mins later...

my mum called again..
this time round she told me she cancelled my trip
i was like What the fark!
she said daddy doesnt want us to go

what did i do to vent my anger?
i went phuture on that day not wanting to see my parents
then the next day i tried to go home early
my mum called i give her cold shoulders
sun, went IKEA, i bought stuffs and got my dad to pay :)

Morale of the story: Never make your daughter angry. She will not talk to you, doen't wanna bother about you, and lastly she will vent her anger on retail therapy.

whenever someone ask me "do you have a boyfriend?"
and my reply will be "no."
the next question will be "sure anot?" or "how can that be?"
how can that not be?
not having a boyfriend isnt something peculiar
i just don't wanna have one
i may be bored at times when the girls are not around to spend the weekend with me
i may want someone to listen to me whenever im down
i may want someone to be there for me at times i need one
i may miss those romantic surprises couples do for each other
i may miss pampering my guy

HOWEVER

i dread my guy calling me every 5 minutes to ask about my whereabout
i dread my guy restricting my social circle of friends
i dread my guy saying NO i can't go to club
i dread my guy to insist that i call him every night
i dread my guy complaining i have not spend enough time with him
i dread losing my freedom
i dread of commitments
i dread it's a mistake to start and things ended up heartbroken
i dread my guy is a player

PERHARPS

im not fit to play the game of love
im a perfectionist to want love to be eternity
im extra precautions to fall in love

AFTER ALL

i think i just need a companion, regardless of gender or age.

I FOUND BACK ME!

yuppies... finally i found back myself... i realised what i was missing...
i lost my usual old self... where i have lots of fun and fun...
i have been working too hard... till a point my boss felt no improvement but full of flaws...
was damn upset... i felt what am i such a fool to work when im on mc or on leave... why do i have to burn my weekends for work... i broke down in front of her *nothing to be ashamed of i tot at least*
i felt disappointment... it drove me to the verge of quitting...
so even feel work load increases it doesnt mean i can give excuse of forgetting things
ya... prolly she means good... by pushing me harder... but there's always a limit... till one point if you pull the string too tight, it will just give way...
my mood was totally spoilt all because of this sh**ty thingy...
im sorry to my babes to show them my down side but im happy and touched that they are always there for me...
after dinner, we went to zouk... *gee* the moment we are reaching, we saw lots of peeps at the bus stop, hotel and there was a jam! gosh... it looks like its geylang serai where everyone comes out to celebrate Hari Raya *quoted by the taxi uncle, which sounds so true* looking at the crowd it's totally impossible to get in... so we went to the hotel to sit and think of Plan B. liyi, birdie and i were so much wanting to get in... but i knew it was just impossible... look at the blardy crowd... it's so fa*rking long *ah... this was quoted by sengyan* we nua at the hotel for like an hour or longer... then yunjiang suggested ktv... yj and bf took a cab... and liyi, birdie and i took another cab down to Lucky Chinatown... in the cab, three of us confessed to each other that we didn't wanna go... we want to try to get into zouk... and luckily liyi's fren might be able to get us in... reached Lucky Chinatown, we broke the news to yj and bf... yj and bf decided not to go... so three of us went back to zouk again... we are just so fickle minded *and i believe girls do have the privilege of that*
back to zouk... queue was damn long... birdie and i went to survey... phuture got no queue *yeah*! so waited for liyi's fren to get us in... and she was so power! she managed to get 10 of us in! YES, it's full house and the bouncer allowed her to bring 10 of us IN! woah, that was cool!
so memories lingered back again... those good old times where we used to be at phuture every Wednesday... the smell is there... lol
ah chow is spinnin better too, the music was terrific! it really brings back me, i miss everyone i club with... and the fun... dance and of coz ah chow's music...
it was a fruitful night at phuture!

and i learnt one thing too: sometimes we need to take a break so that we can continue to walk a longer path.

* non-stop working will never bring you to the peak coz there isn't improvement
* spinning too long will just make the music you spin lousy. maybe ah chow took a break during the reno. of zouk that's why he's spinning better now
* frequent clubbing for too long just makes you get bored of clubbing... see... after a long break, i enjoy clubbing again.

this might not be applicable to everyone. Subject to individual.